For a while, stop for a moment and think about how unimportant and amazingly insignificant you are. You’re nothing, your life has no meaning and there is absolutely no purpose with you being alive. There is no reason that you have the right to breathe. Your whole existence and that self-justification, you’re imagining yourself that you’re entitled to, is nothing but an illusion. It is a masquerade. It’s window-dressing. Your car, your house, your pension savings and your bank account, it’s all an artificial construction. Your education, career and that position you’ve been fighting so hard for, is nothing but a false hope. You have the right for exactly nothing in this life. Dispensable is what you are. Your presence is not required. There is no need for you. Whether you live or not is not relevant. You are just a grain of sand . A tiny wee one, like all the other sad existences who tread this earth every day. Every single human breath is a waste of good fresh air. Oxygen that can be used if you were not breathing.
Do you feel uncomfortable? Do I disturb your Personal Foundation? That protection you put up to guard yourself against idiots like me, who tells you exactly how foolish your dreams, your desires, your greed is. It gets lost in the mists with the speed of lightning, every time you step your foot forward, every time you utter yourself, every time you fill up your shopping cart. You’re a fool. A freak, and it amazes me that you exist. You just take up space. Are you still here? Why?
You make things up, invent stuff, gadgets, holidays, anniversaries. You build monuments, cathedrals and houses of worship, to have something to worship. Something that’ll remind you, that your life is meaningful. Like trying to prove that you have a reason to live. Something that may dawn upon the absolute emptiness, that’s always bothering you. You’re ravaging the planet with your insane gluttony. You give me different names and creates dogmas for life. You make writings that is considered sacred. Your imagination runs wild, because you think that I’m the only truth that no one can question. You butcher those who act in disagreement with your beliefs. You slaughter innocent creatures to death, after tormenting them, because you think you have the right to devour everything that exist on my planet.
Man, there’s something you’ve misunderstood. In fact, there are several things you’ve grasped wrong. The more I think about it … EVERYTHING! None of what you thought is correct. Let’s take it from the top. I have no name. I don’t exist. I don’t fucking care about you. You have no relevance to me. I didn’t create you in my own image. I had no plan or purpose, with you or the other creatures on this planet (or the other planets, you’ll never find). I created the universe. I created life. It was me. I am guilty of that …
I did it, because I wanted to do just that, at that very moment. The moment that you think is nearly 6 billion years ago. Well that moment was actually just a moment ago. The last few seconds, I’ve seen how you arose and scattered like a prairie fire out of control. Faster than any other species on this planet. It’s fascinating to see how you’re creating a chemical imbalance. Despite that I keep bombarding you with all sorts of pesticides, you just don’t die out. You refuse to wither. Instead you come up with your own pesticides that kill my plants. You call it weed – the same name I gave you.
How you exactly occurred, how you mutated into what you are now, excites me. I’d seen something coming, but that it would be so disastrous, I didn’t expect.
Anyway! You’re here, and you’re not an easy thing to get rid of. It’s not that I can’t get rid of you. It just takes so damn long to clean up every single time. And afterwards everything has to be rebuilt and painted, etc. It’s one hell of a hassle constantly having to be on. I too need to relax sometimes. I too have some dirty laundry that needs a washing, and a dishwasher that requires my attention.
Therefore, dear human (silly name for a creature!), let’s make a deal. I’ll let you exist for a while. Minimum until I’m done with the dishes (some thousand years in your time reckoning). In the meantime, behave yourselves and follow these numbers of simple requirements I have for you … Actually, it’s not negotiable, but I’ve noticed, that you always want the realities served neatly. So to make you happy – let’s close on an agreement!
1) You will DIE! It’s required to keep the population down. With you, it just kind of got out of hand. Therefore I invented tobacco, alcohol and drugs. I was hoping it might hold you down to a reasonable level, but instead, you just kept scattering in horrible amounts. I did make sure that it made you happy and excited when you used it, but then someone (no names mentioned!), had the fabulous idea that you all suddenly should be healthy (it didn’t come from me!).
2) Live your live. No one gets happy eating those healthy crackers. It has always been the idea that life would kill you in the end. For fuck sake do enjoy it without moderations (with some exceptions!).
3) I don’t have an exclusive club for the special chosen ones. There is no heaven (hell, it what you’ve created yourself on this planet). I don’t like you now, I have never liked you and I’ll never like you – period! When you are dead, that’s it. It’s over. It’s the termination of your miserable life. Deal with it, or see section 2.
4) You don’t get shit from me. And if you are too flippant, I will punch you in your face. If you want to accomplish something that slightly resembles a decent life for you and your pathetic existence, then move your fucking ass.
5) Don’t multiply like rats. The more you become and the more waste you produce – the more rats you’ll see. Someone has to clean up after you – and I’m not the one doing it! I gave you contraceptives for a meaning. I also gave you weapons and thereby hoping that you would keep the exploding numbers of humans down by yourselves. But no. First you shot almost all the animals, and devoured them. Then you multiplied in outrageous numbers and consumed the rest before you finally started shooting each other. For a moment there I was happy, but it was only for a brief moment, until someone came up with the word peace!
6) Do not live in front of the screen. There is no life behind the screen. Only brain-dead entertainment, though there are some bright spots like Breaking Bad (I love that show!).
7) Take care of each other. It’s pretty simple. If you really want peace and harmony, then make sure everyone can go to the doctor, get an education and get their teeth checked. For free of course!
8) Stop whining. As mentioned earlier, you won’t get shit from me. Provide for yourself. If you need anything, then find a solution to get it, without harming other people. Life is hard … Period! And I do not want to listen any further to those types, that keep whining about others getting help. If someone can’t figure out how to help themselves, help them to do so in an orderly fashion.
9) Learn from each other. In Scandinavia, they invented a model for a good society. A society that distributes wealth. Not equally, but significantly better than everywhere else. Unfortunately, a lot is parked outside the community. Some self-inflicted, but most of them, because you’re too stupid to help and be there for each other. On the opposite side of the Atlantic Ocean one will get nothing if one has nothing. Strangely enough, they’re much better helping each other. Learn from each other. The way you do it now – is a waste of time. Precious time!
10) Do not contact me. I don’t exist, and I don’t want to talk to you – and certainly not when you call me all sorts of strange names, and build huge houses in my name. I’m only here because I have nothing better to do now. I only come down here if I think you need something to do. Yes that is why you’re experiencing natural disasters from time to time. Either because you’ve become too many, or because that you just simply are behaving too damn stupid.
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